As I sit here across the hall from me are two rooms. One which holds two brand new babies who we just adore and one which holds the little boy of my dreams...my Evan.
You see every night our routine is now fairly the same. Clay and I take shifts, I have the first shift until 2 am and he gets up with the babies after that. Our Princess, Our Cinderella Ella can be quite a fussy gussy gal up until 1 am which usually seems to be her magic hour when she will finally sleep so most nights I sit at the computer and wait to see if she's going to cry before finally going to bed. Tonight I decided to read our blog from the past. I began reading some of April 2005. That was the best month ever in my entire life becuase that was the month that I "officaly" became a Mom. I became a Mom over a year before but that month proved that I would be bringing home the son that would now, in such a grown up voice call me Mom.
It started with MaMa with a sweet little Russian sound, which changed into a little french,
Ma Ma...as it sweetly turned southern Maaa ma...then later after we got hoem to the most precious voice ever calling "Mommy" to the now ever so sweet, MOM!
I was reminded about how nervous Evan was, who then answered only to Denis. And how when asked, Guday Mama, Guday Papa? Where's Mama, Where's Papa, he would run pick up the photo album that we sent to him while he was in the baby home and point to our pictures but not to us. I was then remined of how quickly he warmed up to us and loved us and how he would run across the room to give us kisses and giggle as he ran away. I was reminded of the special times that we spent with that boy Denis, who in less than a week became Evan. I was reminded of the special times that we shared with the Schattes. I was remined of the fear that our facilitator put in us as he prepared us for court. I was remined of how big our God is even in the small details like how we listened to Babby Mason and sang her songs as me and Carol danced around the kitchen with our babies and cried shouting not singing, "I'm not worrin' about tomorrow for the Lord will work it out some how" and how my Mom listened to the same song without knowing it. I was remined of many firsts...first bath, first sippy cup, first toothbrush, first choclate milk and boy what it can do. I was reminded of what it's like to celebrate a birthday and an anniverisry on the same day and how specail Cherrios and the Lion King are in a resturant. I was reminded of what's it like without the modern conviences of home and what it was like to be without a telivison to soak up the quiet moments and to see every detail in every moment. I was reminded of feeling the presence of the Holy Spirt like never before. I was reminded of what it felt like to hold hands around a tiny wooden table and physically feel more than we could see. I was reminded of such fear on our way to court and then the ultimate calm and peace from God when the judge walked in the room. I was reminded of the best news ever being posted on our blog and the happiness that we expeienced as we shared it with all of you and the closeness that we felt to you by reading your comments over 6000 miles away. I was reminded of our rainbow and God's promise and why I brought along that picture. I was reminded of our walk, repeating Evan Denis Hodges. I was reminded of eating well and eel. I was remined of walks to the river and 40 minute bath tub nights with the kids. I was reminded of bath water!!!! I was reminded of eating bread off the ground and feeding pigions. I was reminded of Lake Bikial and the smell of fish in my "ruck sack." I was reminded of the Greeting card photo of Clay and Evan. I was reminded of missing our family but especially Wesley. I was reminded of hunts for baby lotion and good baby wipes. I was reminded of missing Mark, a man that I had just met. I was reminded of packing and what it did to Evan. I was reminded of having to say good-by to Carol and Hannah and how bitter-sweet it was. I was reminded of Pizza Hut and McDonalds and walking 20 minutes one way just to have them. I was reminded of airplanes and being awake for 32 hours straight flying. I was reminded of the airport (which still makes me cry everytiem we're there) I was reminded the first car seat. I was reminded of HOME!!
Our blog is so special to me. It holds so many dear memories to us.
It's so hard to believe that it was almost 3 years ago when all of that took place and that the little boy who went through such change is now the same little boy who will be 5 this year! He's now tall and thin and oh so handsome with the most strikingly beautiful blue eyes that you've ever seen. That precious little boy, Evan Denis Hodges is the love of my life and will always be my first faviorte. I only wish that over the years that we'd had high speed so that there would be pictures on the blog to go along with the memories. Mommy loves you Doddlebug.
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